It’s 4:00am and I’ve been awake for a little over an hour now trying to “rest” and finding none. This is when my mind turns on and I begin to think. And think, and think and think. Sometimes I think about the silly things I said yesterday that I wish I could take back. Sometimes the tasks that I, again, left undone and really wish I could just complete. But mostly, I think about God, me, my life, my heart, my hopes, my past, my present, my future – basically, what is this life of mine all about.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about peace. I desire to have peace in my life. Yes, that means “peace and quiet” and it also means peace – lack of chaos. But, for me I want more. I want peace that brings that sense or feeling or understanding that “all is well.”
I was talking to my friend Lara the other day about this and I just can’t seem to let it go. I have been trying to “steal peace” in my life. Steal it. Grab it. Rip it out of my day. It must be something really important to me if I’m willing to go to such great lengths to get it but unfortunately, I don’t find it much.
I can find true peace and rest in my life with some very simple things. A great, long, hot shower is one. I have gone into the shower covered in the grime of life and let that water wash it all away. I have entered the stall twisted and crooked in my body and spirit and come out a new person. A good long shower can be so very healing to me.
I have come from a good movie feeling so alive and so sure of myself, I could conquer the world. I will watch an entire movie, just to get to that one crucial line that stirs my heart. Chariots of Fire is one of those for me. Just to hear Eric Liddel turn to his sister and say, “I feel His pleasure when I run.” Or in Last of the Mohicans when Daniel Day-Lewis says to Madeleine Stowe, “No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you.”
I’ve even found a little slice of pure contentment at the mall. Finding the perfect gift for a dear friend or your sister – finding that perfect pair of jeans that gives the illusion of a slimmer backside – or a new kitchen gadget that will save you tons of time.
Interesting thing about all this – IT DOESN’T ALWAYS WORK!!!!
I’ve tried the shower – nothing; the movie – nothing; the mall – NOTHING!!! What’s going on. I’ll try a cup of tea – that should do it. OK – I’ll do some gardening, take a walk, play on the floor with Daniel – shoot, I’ll even try smiling and throwing my arms over my head. Nothing.
Still troubled. Still restless. Still unsure. Still confused. Still sad. Still uneasy.
Obvious – how has this been eluding me – PRAY. What do I pray? OK – I’ll pray for “such” and “so” and then him, and then her, and back to “such,” and again to “so.” Oh no, what am I actually saying and praying? I don’t know. Can God make any sense out of this jumble of words and thoughts and ideas racing through my head??? Even my prayer time turns into a slide show on warp speed. I’m more wound up now than ever.
Oh God HELP! I need some peace in my life. I need to feel that You are near. I need Your presence. Where is that quiet place?
I am thinking of a song that is sort of old and a little corny but oh so precious to me…
I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart
I will enter His courts with praise
I will say this is the day that the Lord has made
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
He has made me glad
Oh, He has made me glad
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
I think I’ll sing that – maybe a few times. I think I’ll let the truth of it soak into my soul. I want to approach Him (enter His gates) with thanksgiving. I’ll thank Him for my life – the very breath I breathe. Thank you for the roof over my head, the warm water for my shower, my sweet husband, my precious baby boy, my closet full of clothes, a kitchen full of food, great friends, precious memories, happy birthdays, health, legs that work, anything – everything. You are so good God.
Praise is next. God you are AWESOME. You are good. Faithful. Just. Righteous. Holy. Loving. Gracious. Merciful. Steadfast. Enduring. Hopeful. Mighty. Wonderful. The lover of my soul!
That alone can floor me. The God of the universe – creator of heaven and earth – loves my soul. He loves my mind, my personality, my soul! Oh such peace and contentment. I’m starting to feel it now. He loves me. I love Him. I want to rejoice.
I need to say it out loud. “This is the day that the Lord has made – I will rejoice and be glad in it.” I’m thinking of another corny song…
It’s a happy day, and I thank God for the weather
It’s a happy day, and I’m living it for my Lord
It’s a happy day, and things are sure to get better
Living each day by the promises of God’s word
I sing that sometimes to Daniel. I want him to know that whatever the day looks like – stormy, sunny, foggy, cloudy, cool, warm – no matter – it’s a “happy day” and God is to be thanked. I need to say these things out loud. I know – corny. I’ll do anything – even really corny stuff, to find some true peace in my life.
I still think God uses the movies, the mall and the shower (and lot’s of other great things) in my life to bring some peace to me but mostly, He just wants to be present in my life. He wants to stand near to me. Walk beside me. Sometimes He speaks sweet truths and simple solutions but mostly, He just walks near me. I long for that in my life. I want it more than anything else. To be forever in His presence. I will draw near to Him and He draws near to me.
John 14:27 says…
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Another good one is Isaiah 26:3…
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
Lord, help me to have a mind that is steadfast and a trust in You that is deep and abiding. Help me to stop “stealing peace” and finding things that are temporal and that fill me with a false sense of contentment. Help me to daily “enter His gates” and give me a grateful heart. Help me to speak and say out loud only things that are True. Walk with me and let me say, “it is well with my soul.”
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about peace. I desire to have peace in my life. Yes, that means “peace and quiet” and it also means peace – lack of chaos. But, for me I want more. I want peace that brings that sense or feeling or understanding that “all is well.”
I was talking to my friend Lara the other day about this and I just can’t seem to let it go. I have been trying to “steal peace” in my life. Steal it. Grab it. Rip it out of my day. It must be something really important to me if I’m willing to go to such great lengths to get it but unfortunately, I don’t find it much.
I can find true peace and rest in my life with some very simple things. A great, long, hot shower is one. I have gone into the shower covered in the grime of life and let that water wash it all away. I have entered the stall twisted and crooked in my body and spirit and come out a new person. A good long shower can be so very healing to me.
I have come from a good movie feeling so alive and so sure of myself, I could conquer the world. I will watch an entire movie, just to get to that one crucial line that stirs my heart. Chariots of Fire is one of those for me. Just to hear Eric Liddel turn to his sister and say, “I feel His pleasure when I run.” Or in Last of the Mohicans when Daniel Day-Lewis says to Madeleine Stowe, “No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you.”
I’ve even found a little slice of pure contentment at the mall. Finding the perfect gift for a dear friend or your sister – finding that perfect pair of jeans that gives the illusion of a slimmer backside – or a new kitchen gadget that will save you tons of time.
Interesting thing about all this – IT DOESN’T ALWAYS WORK!!!!
I’ve tried the shower – nothing; the movie – nothing; the mall – NOTHING!!! What’s going on. I’ll try a cup of tea – that should do it. OK – I’ll do some gardening, take a walk, play on the floor with Daniel – shoot, I’ll even try smiling and throwing my arms over my head. Nothing.
Still troubled. Still restless. Still unsure. Still confused. Still sad. Still uneasy.
Obvious – how has this been eluding me – PRAY. What do I pray? OK – I’ll pray for “such” and “so” and then him, and then her, and back to “such,” and again to “so.” Oh no, what am I actually saying and praying? I don’t know. Can God make any sense out of this jumble of words and thoughts and ideas racing through my head??? Even my prayer time turns into a slide show on warp speed. I’m more wound up now than ever.
Oh God HELP! I need some peace in my life. I need to feel that You are near. I need Your presence. Where is that quiet place?
I am thinking of a song that is sort of old and a little corny but oh so precious to me…
I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart
I will enter His courts with praise
I will say this is the day that the Lord has made
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
He has made me glad
Oh, He has made me glad
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
I think I’ll sing that – maybe a few times. I think I’ll let the truth of it soak into my soul. I want to approach Him (enter His gates) with thanksgiving. I’ll thank Him for my life – the very breath I breathe. Thank you for the roof over my head, the warm water for my shower, my sweet husband, my precious baby boy, my closet full of clothes, a kitchen full of food, great friends, precious memories, happy birthdays, health, legs that work, anything – everything. You are so good God.
Praise is next. God you are AWESOME. You are good. Faithful. Just. Righteous. Holy. Loving. Gracious. Merciful. Steadfast. Enduring. Hopeful. Mighty. Wonderful. The lover of my soul!
That alone can floor me. The God of the universe – creator of heaven and earth – loves my soul. He loves my mind, my personality, my soul! Oh such peace and contentment. I’m starting to feel it now. He loves me. I love Him. I want to rejoice.
I need to say it out loud. “This is the day that the Lord has made – I will rejoice and be glad in it.” I’m thinking of another corny song…
It’s a happy day, and I thank God for the weather
It’s a happy day, and I’m living it for my Lord
It’s a happy day, and things are sure to get better
Living each day by the promises of God’s word
I sing that sometimes to Daniel. I want him to know that whatever the day looks like – stormy, sunny, foggy, cloudy, cool, warm – no matter – it’s a “happy day” and God is to be thanked. I need to say these things out loud. I know – corny. I’ll do anything – even really corny stuff, to find some true peace in my life.
I still think God uses the movies, the mall and the shower (and lot’s of other great things) in my life to bring some peace to me but mostly, He just wants to be present in my life. He wants to stand near to me. Walk beside me. Sometimes He speaks sweet truths and simple solutions but mostly, He just walks near me. I long for that in my life. I want it more than anything else. To be forever in His presence. I will draw near to Him and He draws near to me.
John 14:27 says…
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Another good one is Isaiah 26:3…
You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.
Lord, help me to have a mind that is steadfast and a trust in You that is deep and abiding. Help me to stop “stealing peace” and finding things that are temporal and that fill me with a false sense of contentment. Help me to daily “enter His gates” and give me a grateful heart. Help me to speak and say out loud only things that are True. Walk with me and let me say, “it is well with my soul.”
8 comments:
Great post. You said it all. I loved it and was encouraged. I'm thankful that not only are you in my life, and that I call you friend, but that we are sisters in Christ. I will say a prayer for you because I love you and we all need one more prayer, don't we. Miss you much.
Peace is not the calm before the storm but the calm during the storm. Deep breathing and prayer always help. Let the power of God prevail and sooth your heart dearest baby sister.
WHEN THE POWER OF LOVE OVERCOMES THE LOVE OF POWER THE WHOLE WORLD WILL KNOW PEACE.
You and yours are part of a greater plan...His.
That was encouraging. Thank You. I love those songs. I started to sing them asI was reading them. I hope you found peace today. I will say a prayer for you too...
What a wonderful post. After the peace comes maybe you can finally get some sleep.
God's peace is so sweet when it comes. Sometimes you don't have it because there is more that He's trying to tell you or more that you need to depend on Him before you get the peace again.
Interesting that you were up not sleeping this morning-I had one of those nights last night, and several of them lately.
I will pray for you this morning as I start my day that God's perfect peace will come to you today.
I love your title. It's the one thing so worth stealing!! I had to work so long and hard at this. When I didn't have small children, I had the luxury of setting aside time to just sit and be. I'd push out all thoughts and ask God to fill me with his peace. It took so much practice...I spent a lot of time sitting still.
Now without that luxury, sometimes I leave the kids with Sergio and just go for a drive or lock myself in the bathroom.
Very cool!
Thanks for sharing such a personal but encouraging post. I'll be thinking and praying for you.
This really is a great post, Angie. I think we can all get that way, I know that I do...
I could really relate to praying, and having it become all jumbled up in your head... wondering what you just prayed for, or getting side-tracked. That has happened to me, too!!
Miss you!
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