More Than Enough

Sunday, May 11, 2008

I say it again - Thank you Lord

I have cried so many times this week. I have seen only a glimpse of His love for me through the gift of Daniel. His grace has set me free - what more could I need? He is so More Than Enough!

YET - He keeps on giving. Everyday I see His kind intensions toward me. And still He chose to allow me the privelege of being Daniel's mother. I am so not deserving but I receive my new post with gladness.

My son has called out to me, yelling "Mommy! Gu dat ree su mo u la." I think he was trying to tell me it was time to come in from playing outside. I have received so many kisses - pecks, tongue kisses, slobbery kisses and even a kiss blown across the yard with perfect precision. He reaches out and touches me just to be sure I am still there. He lays his head on my shoulder as I sing him to sleep. He walks over and pats my leg once in a while just to let me know that he knows I'm there and he doesn't want me to get lonely. I get cheesy smiles just for fun. Oh how I love Daniel and how I love the way he loves me.

Happy Mother's Day to me. Happy Mother's Day to you! And for those who are still waiting, I remember that ache and I know His intensions toward you are kind.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Grazie Signore

Here is an exerpt from the book I'm reading, Ragamuffin Gospel. The author, Brennan Manning uses a song written by the court composer to the Austrian emperor as an example of what "lies at the heart of our response to the graciousness of God and the gospel of grace."

Grazie Signore, for Your lips twisted in love to accommodate my sinful self; for judging me not by my shabby good deeds but by Your love that is Your gift to me; for You unbearable forgiveness and infinite patience with me; for other people who have greater gifts than mine; and for the honesty to acknowledge that I am a ragamuffin. When the final curtain falls and You summon me home, may my last whispered word on earth be the wholehearted cry, "Grazie, Signore."

~Antonio Salieri

Thursday, April 10, 2008

No Special Reason

Just posting something new to show off my new layout! I got a little carried away this evening hunting down a new look. I liked the old new look except for the transparency of the post area. It made the pictures look funny.

Had a great dinner and movie time with a dear friend last night. She's on the edge of adulthood as she is graduating from college in just a few weeks. To be so young again and with the whole world at your feet.

We watched Dan In Real Life. I just love that movie. Anything that can make me laugh out loud and also cause me to tear up a bit - that's a movie worth watching. I felt like I was allowed to join a family for a weekend and catch up on all the siblings' lives and their children's lives. Great movie - I highly recommend it.

I'm reading a book right now called The Ragamuffin Gospel. It's about the grace of God and just how far it extends. So far, I'm OK with it. It's rubbing a little the wrong way at times - confronting some of my deep rooted ideas about just how grace is given and to whom and how easily. I didn't know I had any deep rooted ideas about this until they were confronted. It's a good thing to have your ideas challenged. Sometimes we have them and we don't even know how we got them or why they are what they are. I'll let you know how it all turns out in the end!

I have files all over the dining room table right now! We are trying to get a handle on our system and streamline things. Jim is good about saving things we need - I'm better at putting it somewhere where we can actually find it when needed. We are team! Like any good husband-wife project, it can be a challenge to always see eye-to-eye on how it should be done. We have had much bigger arguments over files and filing in past years. This time around - not so much. I guess that means our marriage is getting better?!?

Speaking of marriage - we are headed to our 19th anniversary. I know! Nineteen years!!! I can honestly say, I can't imagine a better husband for me. With all that life has thrown at us over the years, Jim has been the best friend, prayer partner, sympathizer, confidant, and counselor. I really love that guy!

Daniel - well honestly - he got on my nerves today. I can truthfully say that rarely happens. I am mostly enamored by everything he does and says. Today - not so much. He is really going to have to start using some words to make his requests known. Grunting, screaching and pointing are getting old. He's right at that point where he is going to just start talking but I would like to rush things a bit. He's still my little sweet pie and I love him.

He's crying! ? ! Not sure why - better go check.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I Wish I Was...

More Composed than Nervous;

More Light-Hearted than Depressive;

More Quiet than Active-Social;

More Inhibited than Expressive-Responsive;

More Sympathetic than Indifferent;

More Objective than Subjective;

More Submissive than Dominant;

More Tolerant than Hostile;

More Self Disciplined than Impulsive

The "Taylor-Johnson Temperment Analysis" covers these personality traits and the opposites. I think I took this before Jim and I got married. I wanted to be everything I wasn't. I am not so sure it was a positive experience for me.

I found out I am not all that merciful and Jim was full of mercy. I found out we were both very dominant and we should "look out for trouble" in this area. Ahh, duh! I used to think that Active-Social was great until I sensed that many wished that I would just stop talking. I used to think that being vulnerable and sharing was a good thing until I sensed that awkward moment when the listener was squirming over the rawness of my life story. I thought being impulsive was "fun" until I discovered I had no clean socks to wear when I wanted to race off and catch a movie.

Oh how we want to be everything we are not! If our hair is straight, we want curly. If we are short (petite is so cute in my opinion) we want to be tall. The list goes on in regard to our physical appearance, but the tricky thing is, we are never satisfied with just exactly who God made us to be. Somehow we think that life would be so much easier if we could just respond this way or that way to a situation - instead of how we do respond! Our very nature - our personality - our temperment seems to betray us. It makes life difficult!

It's sounding a little like that whole Romans thing where Paul describes how he can't do the things he knows he should and is always doing the very thing he wishes he wouldn't. We will always battle the flesh.

I don't have any profound answers for myself or anyone out there that is relating to this post, but I do know that I'm OK. (And not just because I was forced to read "I'm OK, You're OK" my sophomore year) Deep down, I have always known that God loves me - the "me" that I am right now - not the one I hope to be or I'm working toward being, but the "me" that is me RIGHT NOW. Warts, flaws, stretch marks, smart comments, indifference, lack of discipline, contempt, self-righteousness, etc, etc, etc. NOTHING can separate us from the love of God.